Loss

It's over... there's too much pain being caused by this relationship. Too much concern, too much sorrow.

My dear friend Marlaina, I hope someday you realize just how beautiful of a person you are. I have seen you give yourself away to so many people, all too quickly. You sell yourself short and you wonder why you are feeling a void. You want to love, but you fall too quickly into the uncertainty of any situation, expecting to find a foundation and all you find is emptiness. You aren't feeling loss, my love, you are trying to attach yourself to something that just doesn't exist yet. An idea.

You have to GROW, you have to trust, move forward, and allow yourself to feel all your emotions so they don't well up inside of you and dam your energy. You also have to stop running away.

You have to stop drinking so much. You have to stop worrying, and you have to stop begrudging people for their imperfections. Make light of a situation. Laugh for once. Love yourself.

I love you very much, but our lives have reached a point where we are not seeing eye to eye. I need to let you go so I can continue to improve myself, because all you are doing is bringing me down. I hope to see you sometime in the near future, bettering your life and striving for excellence, because you deserve nothing but the absolute best. But I can't let you drag me down, I'm sorry. I'll be here for you if you need me, but there's only so much of my energy that I can give to you, and frankly- I'm spent.